Normal girlfriends are soooo boring and forgettable. Want to be memorable like the lovely ladies of Play Misty for Me, Fatal Attraction, etc? Throw in a little psycho, with a dash of desperate, and you're gold. Here are some helpful tips!
*Have kinky sex with him. You've got to hook him somehow, and what better way than through his pants?
*Call him. Again. Maybe he's not home. Why else wouldn't he answer? Doesn't matter. Call him again. And again. And again. And again...
*Declare your undying love. Remember that time he told you he loved you? No? Well, it was implied. Tell him you love him and that NOTHING WILL KEEP YOU APART.
*Steal his keys and make copies for yourself. I'm sure he won't mind.
*Show up unannounced, everywhere. His work place, his job interviews, his house. He likes surprises, right? RIGHT??
*Kill his pets. Or his housekeeper. Or just take a knife and slash all his stuff. It's his fault, anyway!
I'm going to stop you right there. I'm not going to tell you to slash your wrists or actually kill anybody, ESPECIALLY his current girlfriend. As soon as you go after the girlfriend/wife/whatever, you will get shot in a bathtub or punched off a cliff. No, really.
But hey, at least they'll make movies about you!
Let me know how it goes!
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