So you’ve decided to hold a Mystical 1980s Movie Night viewing party. Good for you. I don’t know why you’ve decided to throw caution to the wind and delve into an era of pure, unadulterated fantasy goodness, but this is your party, I’m only attending in the hopes of cleaning out your liquor cabinet and getting the chance to riff on some crazy, nostalgic 80s film goodness.
Anyway, now that we’ve got that out of the way, we need to decide which classic fantasy films you’ll be showing off at this little shindig of yours. Will you go straight for the jugular with the likes of Conan the Barbarian or Dragon Slayer? What about Excalibur? Of course you could toss those films in, but for the purposes of this list I’ve selected one film per year — a mix of the obvious with a few obscures thrown in for good measure. All right Johnny, take it away!
This 1980 beefcake-fest has it all: racist caricatures for villains, Brian Blessed as a freakin’ hawk-man, and a soundtrack by Queen. Did you hear me? I said a fucking soundtrack by Queen. ‘Nuff said.
Here is a film that manages to combine Greek mythology with a Norse monster, the Kraken, and make it look cool. The great cinematic icon Ray Harryhausen provided all the incredible stop-motion beasties before they were butchered by CGI in the remake. The best part, though, is Sir Laurence Olivier’s somber delivery of the infamous ‘Release the Kraken’ line that carries far more weight than Liam Neeson’s unnecessarily over-the-top delivery in the 2010 reimagining.
Not gonna lie, Jim Henson and Frank Oz’s 1982 film The Dark Crystal kinda freaked me out as a kid...but in a good way. There is some truly jaw-dropping work by Jim Henson and his Muppeteers in this film as well as some unforgettable imagery and ideas. Only Henson and his team could deliver a fantasy of this scope with just Muppets (even if it is just Lord of the Rings minus the ring).
No movie screams ‘This shit just got real!’ quite like Krull. This movie is one heck of a trip, it even costars a young Liam Neeson! If you see one movie in your life with a badass glaive in it, see Krull (not to be mistaken for the Kevin Sorbo film of a similar title, Kull the Conqueror). When evil aliens kidnap a princess, it’s up to one dude, his glaive, and a whole slew of expendable characters, to save her and the day. Oh and this film also features those red suits of armor worn by that high-pitched actor on the Warner Brothers lot in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. Go figure.
Saddle up your Luck Dragons kids (especially since your horse was weak and couldn’t make it through the Swamps of Sadness); it’s time for the German classic that is The Neverending Story! It’s 1984, and the world of Fantasia needs the help of an easily bullied kid whose fate is tied to a book that claims to be never-ending yet appears to be about the same length as a copy of The Dummies Guide to Colonoscopies. Lies about length aside, this film features Deep Roy who — surprise, surprise — is dubbed over. Don’t tell me you couldn’t see that coming.
Only Richard Donner, the man who made you believe a man could fly with Superman, could also make you believe that a man could be a wolf by night while his lady fair took the form of a hawk by day, never for the two to meet. Oh yeah, and a young Mathew Broderick is in this film too, constantly breaking the fourth wall and generally being a reluctant hero. Ladyhawke: it’s a lot like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off minus Ben Stein’s droll voice.
Script by Terry Jones of Monty Python, directed by Jim Henson, produced by George Lucas, starring Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie’s codpiece; yep, that’s Labyrinth.
After watching The Princess Bride as a child (and getting over Peter Faulk’s glass eye) I wanted nothing more than to be a young Fred Savage and to have the most awesome fantasy/love story ever told to me while sick in bed. Ladies, you can have Wesley. Give me Fezzik, and we will offer EVERYONE a peanut, even when death is on the line.
Before Frodo and Sam escorted the One Ring to Mordor, Willow and Madmartigan escorted a baby through a treacherous world of trolls, brownies (when you refuse to buy their cookies, they can be downright vicious), and rat-dogs. This film holds a special place in my heart, as it is one of the only films on this list that I was old enough to see in theaters when it first came out. I also have a bit of a soft spot for films that feature armies of soldiers transformed into pigs. I know, I have a real weakness.
You have to have a heart of stone if you don’t find Hayao Miyazaki’s animated feature about a young witch in training, to be a charming delight. Kiki’s Delivery Service is downright adorable and, like everything Studio Ghibli releases, is extremely well done. While the Disney-produced release has some amazing American acting talent lending their voices to the dubbing, you simply can’t beat this film in the original Japanese with subtitles.
Well that’s it for this fantasy-fest. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a castle to storm and some wizards to ward off.
NOTE: Three of my all time favorite 80s fantasy films (Time Bandits, Brazil and The Adventures of Baron Munchhausen) were intentionally excluded from this list. Be not afraid, I intend to visit them in a later post. Yes, they’re just awesome enough to warrant their own essay. So until next time kids and cadets, keep watching the screen…
- Colin
(the Devourer of Worlds)
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